This past weekend I found myself out ekasi (township) as well as Cubana Greenpoint. There is no big difference between the characters that frequent Cubana and kasi establishments, everybody is about having an absolute bender and flossing at the same time. What is the ultimate goal at the end of the night? For the brothers to win the flyest honey or umabhabha there or for the honeys to go home with the biggest boss (pronounced baws; the big spender), sometimes he’s the guy who probably still lives in a backyard room or with his parents but drives a car worth more than some of our bonds (*Prioritize? never that*).

Let’s get into it. That Saturday started slow chilling at NY 6 in Gugs. Nothing of particular interest really happened there. Then we shifted to Cash's Place (not to be mistaken with Johnny Cash). We finally got a place to sit with our drinks, but what stood out the most for me was the high calibre of alcohol being consumed and how it was being consumed. Trust me some of the bottles on those tables you would not even find in the bars of Camps Bay, I’m talking a lot of cognac and a bit of brandy, but damn it some of those cognac drinkers can be forward even though they pronounce cognac (pronounced, \ˈkōn-ˌyak) phonetically C-O-G-N-A-C.

You see them holding their tall tumbler glasses (*shoot me dead*) and bottles up high for the world to see while they pour; I’m sure God himself got a good whif of what these guys were drinking. I’m left thinking, “Honestly bru what is that? Did you get that bottle of Remy to floss or enjoy? Eish! Some these cognac drinkers! Then came the whiskey drinker prancing around with their single malts doing the same shit as the cognac drinkers with one difference they walk around holding the boxes of their bottles.

Then came the brandy drinkers cool calm and collected enjoying their shit like grown folk should, but I think that’s because they think brandy is less superior. Well guess what? You on the same level now stand the fuck up and be seen!!! I’m sure by this scenario I've painted you see the ladies flocked around the cognac brothers because as any right mind would have it if you drinking a thousand rand bottle of cognac your pockets go deep.

The ladies at this point have taken note and are at the top of their game stroking your ego, while you go deeper into your pockets buying them drinks; obviously with the hope of taking one home. I even heard one guy shouting at a girl who rebuffed his advances saying "yimali yamanapkin nebisi le uyityileyo ba awuzohamba nam bugabhe obatywala ndizobujikisa ndifumane imali yam”. I mean this guy was livid, loosely translated this guy was saying he spent money meant for his baby's diapers and milk formula on her drinks so if she’s not gonna go with him she must vomit the alcohol out so he can return it and get his money back. What the hell? He lost his damn mind there for a bit because he was thinking with his privates for the longest time and I’m pretty sure it was the alcohol doing the talking.

Now moving to Cubana Greenpoint or better known to locals as Mam'Ruby's (Mam’Ruby is a character that owns a shebeen on the popular Generations soapie). I think it’s called this mainly because at some points during an evening the place can be likened to a shebeen. Now at Mam'Ruby ziyabila (it’s happening). This is when the big boys bring out the big guns to kill the enemy and eliminate all competition by buying expensive booze for themselves and their women. And so, just like eKasi the Cash cycle continues, there’s no difference whether you’re in the hood or the burbs.

My request is simple; at least learn to appreciate that expensive drink you’re consuming and don’t spend baby mama money!.